LOL

From a mate of mine in Sydney, it's a couple of oldies but goodies:D

My friend Phil used to be in the Canadian Navy. One night an American destroyer announced...."This is USS Kitty Hawk...please adjust your bearing, we are on a collision course"

Canadians " No, YOU adjust your bearings!"

Americans: "You don't understand, this is the USS..... ADJUST your bearings...."

Canadians: " NO... its impossible, we suggest you move"

Americans "This is your final warning. We will take measures to enforce your compliance"

CanadiansL (Laughing hard now).. "NO... YOU don't understand. This is the Canadian LIGHTHOUSE. Whether or not you choose to move is completely up to you"

Ha!!!!

PHils brother was in the military and was on land training in germany. learning to drive a tank. They drive the tanks around suburban streets there sometimes. Well, in a moment of distraction he ran over someones car, completely flattening it to the size of a stamp. It was a Merc. Freaked out he couldn't think of what to do so he levered up the windscreen wiper and left a little note saying "Please call Canadian military, sorry I ran over your car" A police officer happened by..... Phil bro apologized profusely! The policeman says "NO>>> are you kidding? Zis voman parked in a no parkink zone! ANd levered up the wiper and left her a ticket...

Germans!!!!